Invention Needed

Desperately needed:

A voice activated translator that translates all PMS'ing language into nice soothing non-judgemental words.

Examples: A shrill voice: "Why do you HAVE to leave clothes all over the house?" translates to "Honey, please pick up your clothing."

A shrill voice: "Why does the alarm have to be on YOUR side of the bed when you don't set it?" translates to "Baby, I know you have a problem with me hitting the snooze button too many times, but if you forget to set the alarm, perhaps it'd be better if the alarm was on my side of the bed?"

Will pay good money for such a device.