Insidious... Simply Insiduous

A couple of well placed articles, and the panic starts.

Incredulous. Okay. Let's start at the beginning.

Hurricane hits. A number of refineries are devastated. Article comes out and says, gas prices TO spike due to hurricane. Note that it says "TO."

Please also note that Hawaii JUST passed a cap on gasoline, not at the retail level, but at the distribution level.

Note also that Bush is supposedly dipping into the reserves to ease the pain of losing those few refineries.

Result?

People, despite being told by the president that he's coming to the rescue, are panicking and buying up gas in anticipation of the spike, (to save some money) and are creating a shortage.

See what I mean by insiduous. All they did was tell the journalists, Oh gee, we're going to have to raise prices cause of the shortage y'know? So like lemmings, the journalists rush to their computers and write, "Warning! Shortage coming."

People, like lemmings, are running to the gas stations, and yelling "Shortage is coming" (Please feel free to insert "The sky" instead of "Shortage") Other people hear the screams, and think, "Oh no, shortage is coming" and run to join the lines.

And gee, what happens? A shortage happens. Oh yeah. It's cause of those devastated refineries y'know.

No wonder they run everything. All they have to do is suggest it. We do all their work for them, like gotta have that SUV or borrow so much against your property that most of your life is consumed with work because otherwise, there's no roof over your head.

Six fucking dollars a gallon?

I watched the comics business shoot ourselves in the foot, selling more and more of their souls to the powers that be. I watched California shoot itself in the generators with deregulation. I watched America sacrifice its young to have gas and oil. And all this while they're lining up their friggin pocketbook at OUR expense?

HOW MUCH MORE ARE WE GOING TO TAKE UP THE FUCKING ASS????

When are we going to realize these assholes care NOTHING about us, whether we're white, middle class, asian, mexican, gay, straight, bisexual, WHATEVER?

All they care is their fucking golf courses are green, their Cayman Islands accounts are getting bigger, that they run the fucking system and the name is the game is rub the loser's face in shit cause otherwise, how will other pricks respect you?

Yes I'm pissed. I am pissed that the oil and gas and electric companies earned record profits every fucking year. I am pissed that every fucking year, they earn more money and I see more and more of my friends agree to more hours at work, more jobs per person, while they owe more and more. That is what is called a diminished return.

Why is a CEO earning 450% more than the average non-manager. And that 450% is an average my friends. Think about what it takes to get a 450% average. Think about what the CEO of YOUR company makes. Is it 450% of what you make? Or even the person who earns minimum wage? Probably not, unless you work for one of the big ones.

Let me explain those numbers. CEO's are not like a bell curve. It is much more like a triangle. The base will be the largest. In order to get a 450% average, there must be a few at the very top who make over 10,000% over minimum wage. Maybe even more.

If memory serves me correctly, then oil companies like Chevron, Mobbil-Exxon made record profits last year. And the year before that. And fancy that, they made profits during the Clinton years when gas was $1.00 at the pump.

Something tells me, last year's records will only remain records for a year.

And, the gas companies will have taught the American public a lesson. Without the gas companies, you are nothing. Your military and police and hospitals, you need the gas companies. Your businesses, your airports, you need the gas companies. And all they had to do to ensure a panic, was to suggest a possible shortage coming up and then watch us panic with the full knowledge that once again, we will come begging.

What, you think the heads of oil companies right now are sobbing over the devastation of an entire city? I think they're rubbing their hands in glee, then calling up BushCo. and chortling.

P.S. Apparently 9 oil companies were unable to ship to markets. It'll be very interesting to see if any of them make record breaking profits.

Timing is Everything

Isn't capitalism great? In the midst of looking at devastation photos, of reading about how dreadful and catastrophic Katrina is with two levees breaking and most of the city inundated, I spy this article.

Isn't capitalism *special*. I mean, look at this, most of America is digging deep into their own pockets, looking up where to donate to Red Cross and other charities, and gee, who spots opportunity? Why, George Bush's old buddies of course. Oil prices to spike after refinery shutdowns.

Gotta hit that profit margin y'know. Gotta satisfy the stockholders.

It doesn't matter that an ENTIRE city just got devasted, that millions got displaced, that thousands of business have lost any remote ability to even function, much less make a profit. It doesn't matter that because of THEIR greed for more commodity, that the equipment needed to help out in this destruction is in a DRY, LAND-LOCKED area when it'd have been better served here where it was designed for.

One would think that in an age of decency, these board members who might've never even set foot on those destroyed refineries, they might forgo profits for a few days (given the record-breaking profits they've made since Bush has been in office. Nah, couldn't be any correlation there.) just even perhaps in the surrounding areas, who've had to swallow up the fleeing refugees.

I have to point something out, since I am a true socialist, who believes the government SHOULD be in charge of some things (utilities, including natural gas and oil). In the wake of Katrina's devastation, wouldn't a state-run gas have lowered prices instead of hiking them up? Just asking. I kinda think I know what Hugo Chavez'd do.

Stop the Presses! Bush to Work...

but first, home to the old ranch to pick up his favorite pillow and oh yeah, his precious bike.

In light of the disaster that struck with no warning, Bush will leave immediately to his vacation home. It's hard work to fly across country without a stop first y'know.

But first thing Wednesday morning with pillow and bike in tow, he'll be heading to dry land where he can get his two hour bike ride and nap. After all, you can't bike in mud .

Oh, those of you without shelter tonight but with wet clothes? Don't worry, Bush will be thinking of you (and how to spin this so that it doesn't look like he pulled the NATIONAL guard out into international territory nor does it look like he took amphibious equipment designed to help out in floods to DESERT land). He's also figuring out a way to send you some of the birthday cake he shared with McCain and he's trying to figure out how to convert his guitar-jamming into an iTunes file so you guys can get it on podcast.

Happy 29th Day of Vacation, George!

I see you're being your resolute self. Selling your bad senior prescription plan and ignoring hurricane disasters and oh yeah, Cindy Sheehan.

You know, 52% of people feel you should meet with Cindy Sheehan. Even those who don't like her feel you should meet with her, just to dissolve some of the growing emnity against you. But nah, that'd be showing the world you aren't stupid stubborn resolute!

So just keep being your resolute self. Show the world that you don't care. Cause y'know, that's what we really want you to continue doing, thereby proving to the world that we were right, you ARE stupid, you ARE stubborn to the detriment of others, you ARE selfish and self-centered and boorish.

I am just so sorry that thousands will lose their homes, lives and limbs just cause we were dumb enough to elect you.

Happy 28th Day of Vacation, George!

So, I see you've been hard at work ignoring the hurricane. I also hear that thanks to you, Louisiana's national guard is over in Iraq, WITH most of the equipment needed to clear debris. Eh, but who cares, right? After all, Louisiana/New Orleans voted for the other guy.

Oh, got a question for you. Why haven't you been talking about how women's rights are upheld and protected in the Iraqi constitution? Oh, that's right. Cause they're not.

I'd love to chat some more but see, I actually work for a living.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Happy 24th Day of Vacation, George

There is a theme that runs through the bible, George. You know, the book that you claim is your basis for how you do things. This theme is embodied in the very concept of circumcision, and that concept is sacrifice.

See, the Jews, in their covenant with God sacrifice a piece of their flesh to remind them of their place in His heart, of their promise to lead their lives in His name. Abraham, as the father of the Jews, was asked to sacrifice his only son Isaac to prove to God that he is a true believer. And God himself, according to you Christians, sacrificed HIS only Son Jesus for the sins of all of us.

If you ask me, Jesus got a raw deal, but that's beside the point.

The point is, George, what have you sacrificed? You trot out the military Mom who has 4 kids in the military, and a husband in the military as well. She's sacrificed time for your war, but not blood yet. At the rate you're going, she may well sacrifice all of her family before you're done. Then, let's see what she thinks of your policies. But until then more kudos to her. I hope she never has to feel the anguish of Delores Kesterson and Cindy Sheehan.

You haven't sacrificed your two hours of biking every day. You haven't sacrificed your vacation time, since you're fast closing in on having spent an ENTIRE YEAR of vacation during your 5 years in office. (and three more to go, woe is us) You haven't sacrificed blood. Your tears? You readily admit you're a bawler. So how is that a sacrifice?

Filed under Politics & B.S.

The New Ten Commandments

1) Thou shalt advocate the assassination of leaders of governments who want to try and supply the U.S. with cheap gas.
2) Thou shalt lie about the advocation if confronted.
3) Thou shalt view women's rights as expendable.
4) Thou shalt not take arms against "the enemy" but instead, take up keyboards.
5) Thou shalt decry every possible disagreement as trecherous or traitorous without allowing for honest discourse.
6) Thou shalt attack first, ask questions later, then when answering questions, distract and sidestep - this applies to real enemies as well as imagined.
7) Thou shalt never answer questions directly and honestly but use accusations as answers.
8) Thou shalt line the pockets of friends with offshore Cayman Island accounts but tell the populace to sacrifice loved ones.
9) Thou shalt use homosexuality as a boogey-man to achieve desired results.
10) Thou shalt promote stupidity in the populace through religious concepts like Intelligent Design and abstinence and home-schooling.

Happy 23rd Day of Vacation, George!

Hey, Mirror-Man... I see you've been hard at work. You demoted someone for refusing to distort the truth, and promoted someone who wants the truth suppressed. Gee, no wonder you think Cindy Sheehan isn't in the majority.

Oh, and I guess in your mirror, using Islam as the basis for law somehow magically distorts to simply a religious source. And freedoms are preserved yet according to Dr. Raja Kuzai who greeted you in public as "liberator" - oh excuse me, I had to barf - she's leaving Iraq cause "I wanted Iraqi women to be free, to be able to talk freely and to able to move around." The inference of this quote is that this new constitution of Iraq's doesn't allow women to be free, nor to talk freely, nor to be able to move around. But in your weird mirror-land, Iraqis are now free. Nice freedoms there. Oh wait, that's right, you're the one who called the Anti-American-ideal act the Patriot Act.

But don't worry. I know you have a hard time working without a script, so DeWayne Wickham of USAToday has graciously scripted out a possible scenario for you if you finally deign to meet with Cindy? See, no hard work - oh except telling the truth.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Cycle of Inflation

So I'm reading TBogg and his first experience with paying $40 at the pump and a thought hits me.

Did you know that credit card companies don't allow gas stations to charge more than $50 at the pump. Well, at least at one station that I go to. They tell me that the credit card companies don't allow $50+ purchases at any gas stations.

So! If the credit card companies charge PER transaction, and if they don't allow more than $50+ on the credit card, that means in order to fill up, you SUV drivers have to do 2 transactions. The gas stations don't want to eat this cost, SO GUESS WHO EATS THE COST?

Yet ANOTHER reason to hate SUV drivers.

Happy 22nd Day of Vacation, George!

I see you have to do some hard work on your vacation. You had to fly to Salt Lake City and give a speech about Americans having to keep fighting the terrorists where they live. Umm, are we invading London next?

Oh, and after you gave a number of war-dead and war-wounded, within hours those numbers had to change. Poor you. No wonder they didn't want you to say how many died before. It's hard work memorizing those numbers (or reading them off a teleprompter) when those numbers keep changing.

Oh, and you compared our invasion of Iraq to the invasion of Normandie? And before this, to our fight for independence? Study your history. This is more like David going after Sheba, maybe with some Oedipus Rex thrown in.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Recruit Bi's? BWAHAHAHAHA

Illustration by Howard Cruse - an old buddy. Hey Howard, hope you don't mind me using this. Everyone, go buy Stuck Rubber Baby by Paradox Press RIGHT NOW!

For you straight people out there - LISTEN UP!

See wall? Bang head against wall.

THAT is the physical equivalent of recruiting bi's or straights. To recruit someone means that basically, we have to deal with the shit business of COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET. Once in a lifetime is quite enough thank you very much.

I am a rare person in the GLBT community in that I have had relationships with bisexual people. And only ONCE was I the one who chased her and I met her at a gay picnic.

There are only so many times you can hear, "Oh, what should I tell my family" or "Maybe I'm just bi, or maybe I just like you," without your head exploding.

So understand this - it is JUST VANITY on your end to assume we want to recruit YOU. So GET OVER YOURSELF already. Sheesh!

Filed under Bwahahahaha and Scary Gay Stuff.

Go Ahead...

blame me. Yup. My fault.

Feel better now?

Good. Now go to sleep and keep blaming me. Makes you sleep better, eh? Just keep ignoring the real cause.

Think of this as my gift to you all. Common ground for you and your son to start anew. After all, things grow better in manure, right? You both can blame me.

Call your son. Tell him how his aunt failed him with such an example. Ignore the fact that he's babbling incoherently. Ignore the fact that NO ONE IS STOPPING HIM from his actions. No one CAN stop him. Ignore the fact that he wants you to accept him on his terms no matter how unreasonable it is.

No wonder I'm so fucking pissed off at America. It's a goddamn reflection of my own damn life. Exchange me with liberalism, and my nephew with GWB; you get the idea. Difference is? I can tell my nephew exactly what I think of his selfishness.

You equate me with your son. Be my guest. That sort of action will just confirm to me that you see me a certain way.

I told you I would call you to let you know if your asshole of a son calls. I did my part. That does not include having to hear you blame me. I already know. If you need to tell someone I'm to blame, tell it to a therapist. Not me. I do not have to hear it. I just have to let you know if I know your son is alive.

I am setting friggin boundaries now. I have a lover who lives with me. I have to be considerate of her as well as you. When it was just me, I let you blame me and let you yell at me. Maybe I blame myself as well. You will never know will you? Cause you will never ask. I am willing to live with you as you are. But know this. My life has changed. Your relationship with me must change as well. If it doesn't, I do not have to put up with it.

Boundaries. It feels good.

And for the record, nephew. Love doesn't mean I have to put up with something I don't like. You say it's perception. Well dude, you're trying to force me into your perspective. And that's dissing me. That's what I went to therapy for. To understand that I really did love my mother and respected her. And that's why I'm willing to put myself under a lampshade for her. Cause she's scared. So why would I scare her more? Only a bully would want to. That's what I think of you. By you forcing us to FACE your addiction, you're a bully.

I accept your addiction. I don't have to like it and I don't. I don't want it in my life cause I don't trust it. Which translates to I don't trust YOU. I accept that you are addicted and I accept that you will not be a part of my life for the present time.

This is where you made your mistake. You think that I am urging you to stop. I am not. I am only saying there is a line. YOU choose your actions. On this side of the line is me. On that side is crystal meth. I am no where even NEAR pleading you to stop. In fact, if you stay on that side of the line, my life will be simplified.

So dear nephew. Please hear me now. I accept your decision. Your decision has consequences. The consequence is I do not want your presence in my life. See? Simple.

No where did I say, nephew, I want you to stop using. My wants and desires have no impact so why bother wasting the saliva? You will not quit unless you want to. I as someone who smokes no more, understand that very well.

Therefore, so long and thanks for all the fish, nephew.

Regional Loyalties are Hard to Shake

I spent three hours last night crawling through a web site chock full of information on H.K. movie stars - going back into the 50's.

I looked up recent stars, I looked up old stars. Bratworse just kept shaking her head at me cause I would exclaim, then break out into giggles.

As I read up on stars, remembering the movies and/or tv shows they'd been in, I noticed something curious. I puffed with pride every time I read a star was born in Shanghai or was of Shanghai descent.

Okay. In order to understand the significance of this, realize that I have visited Shanghai ONCE in 1984 so that my grandmother could set eyes on me for the first and last time. I only learned to speak Shanghainese when I came to America in 1976.

This pride was driven into me by my mother, who extolled the virtues of being Shanghainese over and over into my willing ear. My sister, who had the fortune NOT to be a sickly child, didn't get this constant droning. I wonder if she is as proud of being Shanghainese as I am.

Anyway, my pride at being Shanghainese and my pride of these actors being Shanghainese is totally irrational. At one point, my ancestors and their ancestors dwelled in the same city. Big Whoop. But if even I, who prides herself on being rational about such things, feel a kinship with these people, perhaps that explains the inexplicable behavior of nationalism to me.

Oh, in case you're interested, the picture above is of Josephine Siao. If any of you are H.K. action flick or Jet Li fans, you'd recognize her as the mother of Fong Sai Yuk in that movie. Josephine Siao was a child actress in the 50's, a teen actress in the 60's, a tv actress in the 70's and 80's and re-emerged in movies in the 90's.

Other Shanghainese actors include
Lydia Shum (Sum Fei Fei)Tin Ha;
Danny Lee (Li Hsiu Hsien);
Wong Min Chuen and I believe the Shaw Brothers themselves were Shanghainese, which may be the reason for the proliferation of Shanghai stars in the 60's and 70's.

God, I love H.K. movies. Now I gotta start watching some of the Taiwanese tear-jerkers I grew up with in the 70's and watch a very very young and gorgeous
Lin Ching Hsia (Bridgitte Lin) act her heart out.

Happy 21st Day of Vacation, George!

I think my new nickname for you is Mirror-Man. After all, everything you say or do or set out to do, is pretty much the mirror opposite of what is actually happening, isn't it?

Just look at your proud step-children, the Iraqis! You set out to find WMD's umm change the regime err create a democracy with freedoms and look what is emerging! A quasi-democratic state based on Islamic Laws. Very very nicely done. It does have that "Dubya" feel to it.

I know, what does it matter that 50% of the population no longer enjoy freedoms that they had under Saddam's regime. After all, it's just women, right? They *should* be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

What does it matter as long as you get your bike ride in, right? So what if Afghanistan is falling apart; soldiers are dying; and a treasonous traitor is still lurking and working behind the scenes in the White House.

Oh, that's right, you're Mirror-Man. What you'll say is, we are fighting and winning the war over there in Afghanistan and Iraq. (Pay no attention to the body bags and their constitutions)

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Hippie? Nah, I'd say Cappie

Recenly, I've been accused of being a hippie.

My hippie friends would fall over dying of laughter.

I will not hike. That's like a cardinal sin for hippies.

I will not eat granola or any food remotely healthy for you (I live on pepsis). That's sacrilege to a hippie.

Vegetables send me screaming into the night searching for McDonald's. Going to McDonalds garners an hour's length of lectures from hippies.

Hippies have no problem with doing the following:

I am waaaaaaaay too uptight to be able to participate.

I am flattered to be called a hippie. They have much more integrity and compassion than the average human. But, I am not one. In fact, my close friends consider me to be a CAP - Chinese American Princess. And my closest friends? I'm SCDB to them. Alas, that doesn't make for a good acronym.

Good Luck Cindy....

Our thoughts and support is with you as you and your family go through this crisis.

We will continue to ask questions while you're gone. Take care of your Mom.

Shooting Oneself in the Foot

I used to witness this sort of action all the time in the comics business. Every time the industry would make some headway out of being a niche business, the industry as a whole, would shoot itself in the foot.

Now, I'm watching gay rags do it. What am I talking about?

Apparently, The Washington Blade, a once-respected gay rag based in Washington, has hired Jeff Gannon to be a columnist. I don't know whether to laugh hysterically, or sob.

Hey, Washington Blade? Just for the record, there is NO WAY I will read anything Jeff Gannon/James Guckert writes about. Why?

• He's a PROSTITUTE!
  
• He's a LIAR!
  
• He's a PLAIGIARIZER! therefore,
  
• He's a THIEF!
  

What in the world are you guys thinking? Oh hey, they call us media whores, so let's actually hire one?

No one reads us anyway, but this will make people talk about us in disgust for a day?

WELL! You succeeded in that, at least. Good luck, Washington Blade. I so wish I had a subscription to you guys so I can write in to cancel.

Happy 18th Day of Vacation, George!

The round's over, George, for now. You can breathe again.

Was that a "stroke" of luck for you?

Now you can concentrate on bombs going off in Iraq umm the attack on a U.S. Naval ship err supporting the troops with deeds, not words I mean, nappin'.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Tables on Blogger

Around July why and I was preparing Pheonix Union I had organized the information quite nicely in a table, but when I published it to my blog, I had a large amount of "empty" space between the top of the page and the top of my table. Frantic I pleaded with idealist to magically fix it! I do not remember what she was preoccupied with at the time, but I resigned to dismantling my table and entering the information in as a list instead.

Last night idealist was organizing Distorted Dreams and in the process decided that the information would sit well in a table. She spent all night formatting the table and entering the information in, only to have the horrifying "empty" space staring back at her upon completion. She had so much "empty" space, the table was a full two scrolls down the page! Disgruntled and disappointed she moved on to something else, but not before expressing her angst to me. She even woke me this morning to express her disappointment with the table she had spent so much time on.



I being the knight in shining armor that I am spent this morning searching for the magic word that would obliterate the "empty" space. I discoverd it here.

Quite simple really, you see Blogger automatically enters a
everytime you hit enter, even if you're editing your post under "edit html." Most people organize their data while writing html. So, when idealist and I were entering our tables, the code looked somewhat like this:

table
tbody
tr
td Row 1 Column 1 /td
td Row 2 Column 2 /td
/tr
/tbody
/table

Not realizing that all those returns where being translated into
thus the more times returned was use the more "empty" space was present. In order to get rid of the empty space, DON'T HIT ENTER! Write the table as a single string. Or write the table the way you normally would, with the returns and then go back and delete 'em.

The Gravity of It All

Due to this article, I now understand how my education seriously lacked weight. I never understood before that the theory of gravity is just a theory - that there are holes in this theory because the theory of gravity doesn't explain how Lucifer fell and how Angels descend onto the earth.

[Hangs head low]

I am truly ashamed of my lack of knowledge. I now subscribe to the Theory of Intelligent Falling.

How Texas Supports Troops

Corporal Carl Basham is an 8 year veteran of the Iraq War. When he signed up with the Marines, his parents lived in Louisiana, having just moved there from Texas. A year later, his parents moved back to Texas.

Now, he'd like an education please.

Texas authorities have told him that because he signed up with the military in Louisiana, he is not a Texas resident. Therefore, if he wants to go to community college in Texas, he'll have to pay out-of-state fees. Now there's a big thank you.

No wonder Bush so feels at home in Texas.

Happy 17th Day of Vacation, George!

Congratulations, George! You are now in uncharted territory for MOST Americans. You are on a third week of vacation.

Oh I know, boo hoo, you had to attend a few dinners, shake hands with the Columbian President, fall off your bike a few times, and ignore Cindy Sheehan. It wasn't a vacation after all!

But you know, somehow, I think your vacation is better than the ones the soldiers get. And it was because of this equation that Bratworse and I went to a candlelight vigil last night.



So have fun with your bike, with fishing, with napping, with your vacation. Meanwhile, people all over the country are starting see the disconnect of the WH to people's realities. And they're wondering why the hell you are biking two hours every day instead of using those two hours to try and wrangle some funds up to armor our soldiers.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Good Dreams

I can't figure out if I just woke up and look really tired, if it's how I look when I'm content, or if it's what I'm going to look like in the coming years. I know we are our hardest critic and I'm just looking too closely at the lines, wrinkles and bags. It's my face not dry cleaning!

In any case this look is the reason my dear idealist has christened me "dopey!"

Fog

	Fog over San Francisco
	Fog over Oakland

Classics

Bamboo

Young Green Bamboo!

Review: RedBeard *WARNING SPOILERS*

"You saw it already"

"No, I did not."

2/3 of the way through, I nudged Bratworse... "You awake?" No response. I mutter to myself, "Damn, she was right, I have seen this.

It turns out we were both right; I had only seen the second half of RedBeard by Akira Kurosawa before and therefore didn't recognize the first half.

Redbeard is one of Kurosawa's later films (his films start slowing down in the 60's and this was made in 1965). I'm much more familiar with his earlier work like Rashoman, Seven Samurai, Sanjuro, Yojimbo, Hidden Fortress.

It seems as if Redbeard was a throwaway movie for Kurosawa. From the gratuitous japanese bondage scene to the bludgeoning over the head with its character development, Redbeard just feels like different in intensity from his other movies.

It had very little character development for the main character - Redbeard, played by the incomparable Toshiro Mifune. Mostly, the young selfish man who learns to admire Redbeard, and the young ward who comes under his eventual care are the two characters who change over time, but the transition is heavy-handed and sudden.

As a story, it's fairly run-of-the-mill. Young arrogant doctor gets sent to study under the care of eccentric doctor and turns over new leaf by the end of the movie.

*SPOILER WARNING* However, despite the faults, Redbeard managed to make me sob through most of the 2nd half. The young ward Otoya befriends a "little rat" Chodo who is stealing rice from the clinic. After a while, Chodo and his family decide to eat rat poison to avoid shame. While Chodo's life hangs in the balance, Otoya and the rest of the kitchen help start yelling into a well to try and call back Otoya's soul... and well, I lost it. I was bawling.

All in all, Redbeard gets a 7 out of 10 rating. However, rating it on the Kurosawa scale, it only gets a 5 out of 10.

Happy 16th Day of Vacation, George aka Precedent Setting President

Hey George!

I read a real funny this morning. I read that the reason you didn't want to meet Cindy Sheehan was cause you didn't want to start a precedent.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... did you really mean that?

How do you set the precedents... let me count the ways:

• Start a pre-emptive war to find WMDs err regime change umm spread democracy;
  
• Create the largest deficit in our national budget;
  
• Cheat your way into the WH;
  
• Take more vacations than any other president (a full 20%);
  
• Harbor somone suspected of treason;
  
• Use public funds to sponsor party-affiliated propaganda in the hopes of dismantling social security;
  
• Have people impersonate secret service in order to keep out dissenting voices in PUBLIC forums;
  

I think you're very dishonest, George. You just can't be bothered. All you have to do is tell her you'd meet her after your 5 WEEK vacation and all the wind would go out of her sails. But see, that stupid stubborn streak in you is what we're counting on. That immature side of you that just can't admit you were wrong, or you made a mistake.

So tell the world it's cause you don't want to set a precedent. We all know you'd rather set precedents that'll benefit your (Cheney's) Halliburton buddies or your ultra-rich buddies and precedents that'll make your dad's heart stop. Oh, that was the whole plan wasn't it? Show up your Dad?

Filed under Politics & B.S. and Bwahahahaha.

Fairness

I have been wanting to post this for a very long time.

There are a couple of bloggers who refer to these two as Jenna and Not-Jenna. Stop it.

These two are Jenna and Barbara. Say what you will about Jenna, but I do believe that Barbara spent the summer in Africa, helping in an AIDS hospital. IF this is true, then CREDIT MUST BE GIVEN IF DESERVED. Stop with the snark with Barbara. She doesn't deserve this.

However, Jenna seems to ask for trouble. Her escapades, sticking out her tongue at the press, even her drunkenness seem to emulate our Idiot-in-Chief. Hey, if you flaunt it, it's open territory.

Look people. Say what you want about Americans, or our ruling class. However, I TRULY believe the admiration we Americans have for fair play. Yes, there's a large contigent of ugly Americans who would stomp all over you even if you were lying wounded, just because you two were in competition. But I believe there's an even larger contingent who doesn't like seeing people picked on, if it's uncalled for.

Barbara is trying to see how the majority lives. Let's just give her credit for that and leave her alone, okay? Can you imagine George or Jenna in Africa among the sick and dying?

Besides, I can just imagine what life could've been like for her, in her twin's shadow. The indignation of being called Not-Jenna as well as my attempts to be a real person ignored, could just push me into being an over-bearing arrogant asshole like her relatives. (BTW, Barbara is already known as GWB's daughter, Jenna's twin, and at some point in her life, someone's wife. Let her stand by herself for now.)

The Weather Report

The other day on my way to work, after dropping off Idealist, I heard the weather report on the radio station.

"High today ranges from 60 to 90 degrees"

How's that for a weather report?!

The irony... in the morning it was around 60 degrees, but the fog cleared and I could have sword it was 100 degrees!

Resignedidealist here: That's the Bay Area weather for you - which is why we warn all the tourists to wear layers here. I've personally experienced 40 degree fluctuations here, from 40's in the AM to 80's in the afternoon. Oh yeah, and since my mood heavily depends on sunlight, I'm not exactly the chirpiest soul on fog-filled mornings.

D'oh! I told Bratworse about my follow-up post... and she pointed out to me that the HIGH was 60 to 90 degrees and that's what she was gawking at. Silly me, and here I thought she was still sufferering from immigrant wonder (she moved here from Florida)

Happy 15th Day of Vacation, George!

I know you don't recognize any of those names. Hell, you couldn't even remember Casey Sheehan's name when you met Cindy Sheehan that one time. Why should you recognize any of these names now.

Anyway, you needn't worry. Your neighbor took care of that pesky little problem. Seems one of your neighbors, irate that you won't see Cindy and thus remove some traffic congestion, decided to take out his irritation at the makeshift memorial. A pickup truck mowed down the crosses in the middle of the night. Hey! Maybe this guy will go to your little March with his pick-up truck.

Oh, speaking of marches... I hear the Washington Post pulled out of sponsoring your political rally put on by the Department of Defense. It's okay. I think one of your 230 attendees can afford to sponsor it. After all, they did give $25,000 towards your campaign... what's a bit more to pay for propaganda?

Lastly, I see that the Iraqi government failed to come up with a constitution by yesterday's headline. I also hear that Condi and others are pressuring them to come up with a constitution within 10 days.

I've got an experiment for you all: try sitting in a room with falling plaster, and have someone play explosive noises outside the door. Now try and come up with a constitution. I know you're in a hurry for them to come up with something just so you can wipe some of the egg off your face but seriously, George. You try to come up with coherent thoughts while there's explosions going on right outside your door. Oh wait. You couldn't even come up with coherent thoughts after receiving NEWS of explosions.


Filed under Politics & B.S.

Better Than a Stack of Bills

Sometimes, sweet shit happens.

Over on DailyKos, a guy named ColdFusion04 has been after the community to help out in a contest. This contest, run by a Clearchannel (conservative) talk radio station in Milwaukee, featured 17 Conservative contestants, 2 moderates and 1 Liberal. The basic premise of the competition was to have a popularity contest through calls and votes on the web; whoever won, would get a 2-year job as morning host at 50k a year.

ColdFusion04 studied the contest rules carefully and figured out a plan to knock off competitors in each round, moving the liberal, Nicole Devin up. Sure enough, Nicole Devin won!

So, congratulations, Nicole. Have a great two years and be a voice of reason amidst a sea of half-truths and contortions.

As for you conservatives who say that there's a conspiracy, umm, hello? How can there be a conspiracy when the method to win is published and can be viewed by anyone? It's like [bear with me, football season is starting] Bill Callahan saying to the press, "We're giving the ball to Sapp and he'll throw it to Moss," then having the opposing team be incredulous that the ball was actually given to Sapp and he threw it to Moss. Yes, it *must* be a conspiracy.

Level 48 Paladin!

Playing around on my iBook G4, I finally figured out how to do a screenshot [cmd-shift-3 and for a cropped one, do cmd-shift-4, then drag cursor to form a box around soon-to-be-captured image]. Anyway, I quickly got on WoW, image-captured my main girl - Jaece and threw it up here. Like her new hat? I just got her that. It's *much* better than the helmet she used to wear. Jaece is a level 48 Human Paladin. Her two skills are skinning and leather-working. She isn't my first character on WoW. Hydiddlee has that distinction and I'll post a picture of him soon with his helmet on and his helmet off. He is so unbelievably cute but I play Jaece much more than Hy. The ONLY reason why is cause she can self-heal. I have walked into areas where she will take on 5 foes, all a couple of levels higher than her and she has walked out alive. Now, that's kick-ass.

Happy 14th Day of Vacation, George!

How's it going, Georgie Porgy? I hear you've been having a good ol' time, going on bike rides and fundraisers.

In fact, I hear you drove right past Cindy Sheehan on your way to a fundraiser for the GOP. So, I guess we all now have the answer: In order for you to act like it's no big deal to meet with you twice, all we have to do is cough up $25,000.

You know what this means, George? This means that in YOUR eyes, $25,000 means much more than a marine's life, a marine whom YOU asked to give up his life.

Actually, I'd be interested to find out how many people have met you more than once, more than the 15 minutes you gave Cindy Sheehan or Delores Kesterson (I'm being generous here, you only gave Delores 5 minutes of your precious bike-riding time).

I'm willing to bet some of them "contributed" less than $2,000 to you. Which means, Casey Sheehan's life is worth less than $2,000 to you.

The other thing I wanted to point out to you, George, is this article. Apparently, the famous swans in Boston's Public Garden are a couple of lesbians!

Just thought you should know so that you could have a new diversion. You know, since most lawmakers are now admitting that this isn't the right atmosphere to push through an anti-gay marriage amendment (Hear that sound? That's the sound of the entire conservative christian movement's sphincter scrunching shut in terror)

Instead of proclaiming against Gays as anti-nature, you can now crusade against Gays in Nature. And all the liberals will rise up against this proclamation and there! You will then have again a distraction against the noise of Iraq.

BTW, in case you're interested (and I know you're not) TBogg has an on-going deathcount while you are on vacation. Let's see, that's 230 people you're willing to visit cause they contributed to your political party and 55 families you're not going to visit.

I wonder how much those 230 people sacrificed. The whole world knows what the 55 families sacrificed. My thoughts are with those families; may your future weekends never be as bad as this one.

I hope you really do believe in a God, George. I really hope you did take Christ to be your savior. Cause if you did, there will be a very nice place for you when you die. You'll feel right at home. I hear it's hotter than Texas.

Filed under Politics & B. S.

Unintentional Funny

"This is a terrible thing for The Washington Post," said Bill Dobbs, spokesman for United for Peace and Justice. "It calls into question the media's credibility."

Okay. I've stopped laughing now. No... wait.... okay. Now I've stopped laughing.

I'm sorry, but so many things have called into question the media's credibility that whenever I read an article in almost any newspaper.com that I do all the research myself so I can judge the veracity. How's that for credility?

[Wipes her eyes]

Whew. That was a good one. But seriously folks, this isn't quite a Yoda-type move by the Washington Post, is it? To help sponsor this atrocity of a "commerative march"? Bo Jones, publisher of the Washington Post, says that the paper'll pull out if the event gets political. Ooooh Yippee! We'll soon be listening to you all navel-gazers parse the word "political". I hope you get a good seat in El Presidente's box for this march, Mr. Jones. Wave to all those supporters of the war effort who aren't in the military but yet marching so they can play dress-up like Leader Dearest.

BTW, I bet few in NY would be fooled that this March has ANYTHING to do with 9/11. Go on, try this march in NYC. I dare them.

*Warning* Gross but Necessary Post Following

Bratworse's post below reminded me I wanted to blog about this.

Two years ago, I went to bury my father in China. While there I got my period. So off I trudged and bought Stayfree pads from the supermarket next door. When I put them on, I was pleasantly surprised. The cover of the pad was soft, cottony and comfortable!

I came home to the U.S. and only bought Stayfree pads from then on.

Two months ago, someone at Stayfree decided gee, let's save some money and switch to this QWIK-DRY Top Layer. I'm sure someone there must've thought, hey, it'll keep them dry, they'll be grateful for that.

NO WE ARE NOT!

I want ALL the executives, all the marketing people, all the research people, to pour a bit of chocolate syrup and maybe some chopped up marshmallow bits onto a pad, and then wear that for 4 hours. THAT basically is the constituency of what we sit on.

And don't think of a period as peeing into a diaper or something. IT IS WET AND STICKY AND GROSS FROM THE SECOND THE PAD TOUCHES THE VAGINA. And we have to sit on that.

This damn piece of plastic is so uncomfortable we are switching. We went to Always, which now has a cottony type cover. Still not as good as what I got in Hong Kong but it'll do.

But resignedidealist, you ask, why don't you use tampons instead?

I have no problems with tampons IF there weren't lumps involved. There is NOTHING I hate more than standing at the grocery store, or standing up from my desk, and feeling that lump of tissue that just freed itself from my uterus try and ooze past the tampon. If it oozes past the tampon, chances are the panty-liner cannot handle a dump like that.

Also, WHY DO WE WEAR PANTY-LINERS WITH TAMPONS?

It's the redundancy of that act that makes me think guys created tampons.

You can bet your ass if guys had lumps of tissue monthly disgorging themselves from a wall within them, they'd have figured out a way to secure the lumps and the blood, and still NOT have to sit on plastic.

Bratworse hates it when I talk about my period much less blog about it, but damnit, someone's got to bitch about this shit. I'll try not to be as graphic or ... hmm... [starts to get an idea of mixing up chocolate syrup with marshmallow bits and taking a photo of it to post]

Yes, I'm pms'ing and dreading having to finish up the Stayfree pads.

Thinking OuTlOuD

- Grocery Store Reveries -

Idealist and I went to the grocery store the other day, as we are likely to do when desperate times call for desperate measures. Previously we had purchased Stayfree's maxi pad, thinking that the new leak protection did not mean plastic diaper (Must be cheaper to use plastic instead of the cotton weave they were using before, 'Cause you know everything's about money). In an attempt to find a less plastic form, I found my way to the feminine hygiene section. Looking around, I decided that there was a message there in the feminine hygiene aisle. To the right of me - diapers for infants and toddlers, infront of me - maxi pads and tampons, to the left of me - depends. I'm halfway there! We should just resign to the fact that woman just might be in diapers all their life.

- A Job's Humor -

My co-worker/manger nearly cracks me up every time she does some act that reminds me of Danielle Howell's song, "Big Puffy Girl Handwriting." I have since nicknamed my co-worker "Big Puffy Girl Handwriting (I nearly crack up when she writes tomorrow - "2moro")." To give you an idea the song starts:

"Big puffy girl handwriting, handwriting that's big and puffy. You know those girls that write: to so and so, they write the letter 2, I mean the number 2, like "2U" and love, L-U-V and instead of you're, they write Y-R. "YR gonna luv 2 b4 I... " You know what I'm saying? Those girls and I didn't get along very well."

To hear the entire song, you'll just have to purchase it or attend one of Ms. Howell's proformances (maybe one day she'll come out to California *hint*), not only does she provide the apt description for my co-worker, she's also got me wondering about what "The Shift" is going to do to me (when you turned twenty-six, did it shift?).

- A Faery's Wish -

I dreamed of a blue faery, not the pretty girlie kind, but the ugly gremlin kind akin to Brian Froud's interpretation. She instructed me on a few things than left in a blink, only to return shortly after to say she'd forgotten something and would disappear again and return to repeat that she had forgotten something. After what seemed like awhile of this I was awakened, left wishing faeries exist, the good, the bad and the ugly! I think we all need something to believe in, there most be some form of "little magic" out there. If all that matters is faith, why argue about what it's in?

- Pheonix Union's (P.U.) Movement -

I have gladly accepted the nickname "budding activist." As founder of P.U. I am taking on our first movement. The movement of independence! I'm talking independence for the intelligent, living on their own, unmarried (for whatever reasons), childless, under twenty-four year olds. More specifically I am rallying against the Government's classification of independent for the sole purpose of Financial Aid dispersal to college students. I have the bare skeleton of my purpose, and eventually will complete the argument.

Happy 11th Day of Vacation, George!

They're coming, George.. all to see you on your vacation. Isn't that fantastic?

Me, I'm just happy to see people realizing that they are the power. As Gary Hart said, Cindy Sheehan "holds the highest office available in a republic, that of citizen." Many more are exercising their power of office.

It's just like Field of Dreams - If you build it, they will come.

You built a field of lies, falsified records, and ever-changing reasons for why we went into Iraq. You built a road of corpses leading to oil-fields.

Did you really think they wouldn't come?

Enjoy your weekend, George. And for goodness sake (if there's any inside you) send some lemonade out to those people in 100 degree weather okay? You know, figure out how many are out there (700+ and counting) and make just enough for one cup each. At least there, you might have reason to put the mantle of "conservative compassion" on your shoulders.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Okay, Who Did a Time Warp on Us?

Happy Anniversary, Bratworse!

It's our 3rd Anniversary officially, but not really. It's kind of hard to explain. I met Bratworse playing a MUD named Threshold-rpg. No, no links to the site cause tho I had 4 pretty fun-filled years playing the game, the owner is too much like George W. Bush in my eyes and I simply can't recommend it.

Anyway, I met Bratworse virtually, and on this game, we courted and eventually got married. All this prior to our actually meeting. I think it took her 6 months of IM'ing me to get my phone number, with me the entire time saying, "Are you a guy?"

Finally we met in person December 2002, brought in the New Year together and she moved in with me in Feb. 2003.

Those of you paying attention should be doing a double-take right about now. Wait, but you guys met in Dec. 2002. How can this be your 3 year anniversary?

Well, Bratworse decided that we actually met 2 years before that and since we got married in the game and decided in August 2002 that we were going to meet (okay, clarification here. I decided we were going to meet. She decided we were to live together. I was not to find out this until much later, like 6 months after she moved in)

Therefore, our anniversary was declared August 11th. The 11th mainly because she hoped I wouldn't forget such a number and in fact, when I told her "Happy Anniversary, Honey" this morning, she was quite happy her trick worked.

So, tho we have no $ to celebrate, we'll be celebrating in our hearts.

Oh, the picture above? [shuffles sheepishly] We were to buy an ipod for our anniversary and since we have no $, I thought the picture might help.

Happy 10th Day of Vacation, George!

How was the Windy City yesterday, George? Did you happen to drive past all those women camped out in front of your ranch? Nah, judging from the pattern of behavior, I would bet a million of your bucks, that you turned tail and took a helicopter out of there to the airfield. Gee, George, did your mom intimidate you *that* much that Cindy Sheehan frightens you?

So I heard that you sent out attack dog Bill O'Reilly after Cindy Sheehan through a stand-in - Delores Kesterson. Umm, I think you/Rove/O'Reilly made a teensy weensy lil mistake there. See, I think it was actually Chief Warrant Officer Erik Kesterson's step-mom that was supposed to be on the show, not his birth-mom. But hey, all those moms look alike, eh?

You know, you really should study a tad before you go and meet grieving Moms. You know, be less brusque, don't make jokes since it's kinda solemn that they lost a loved one. Oh, but that would mean you were taught manners, wouldn't it?

Oh yeah, another tip? Learn the names of the person you're honoring. See, there's this thing called short-term memory (I'm assuming that you didn't fry yours, but that might be assuming a tad much huh?). All you have to do is put the person's name in short-term memory, have the meeting and then walk out. It will give the impression at least that you cared.

The common thread between Cindy Sheehan and Delores Kesterson? They both met you in person and came away with the impression that you didn't know who you were talking about, that you didn't care to be there and/or worse, that you thought you were at a cocktail party, that all you cared about was being the president of the U.S. and having others do your bidding.

I know, I know, you really ARE that way. But geeze, George, if you had taken the trouble to just act a little, maybe you'd be spared this protest. But you must've been late for a bike ride.

So I see a few of your cronies are starting to feel some heat. Over in San Diego, Randy "Duke" Cunningham wants to use some of his campaign contributions for a legal fund. On the other side of the country, I see some people finally got indicted for the phone bank tampering during the 2002 elections. Oh and some other DeLay/Abramoff scandal. Oh yeah, and something about lawmakers giving themselves a substantial raise in Pennsylvania in the dead of the night?

Gee, judging from some of these articles, they seem to suggest there's a deep layer of corruption within the government ranks. Nah, it couldn't be. Your pals? Corrupt? I know, at least corruption isn't treason, righ.... whoops.

Filed under Politics and B.S.

Blogher, I Don't Even Know Her!

Well, after a few days of visiting a page here and there, a few days of following links to find myself guffawing at antics, learning new tricks, and being envious of those attending, I did it.

I first followed directions on this page and lo & behold, a self-updating blogroll magically appears to the right. The first hurdle cleared, I posted my request to be added.

First off, let me explain. I'm a fairly regular reader of Dooce since oh about 6 months ago or less. So I knew about Blogher, well peripherally. It seemed every time Dooce wrote about it, my attention was diverted away by some political shenanigans. Though I made a mental note to look it up, well, somehow, Dooce was hopping on a plane before I realized the weekend was here.

When she returned, I followed her links to other women's blogs and read. And read. And read.

When Bratworse picked me up later that day, I turned to her and said, "We are going to Blogher next year no matter what." She said "Okay. What's Blogher?" Later that day, I showed her three pages that impressed me with their writing. She smiled and said, "Okay, we're going to Blogher."

Happy 9th Day of Vacation, George!

Did you have a good night? Cindy Sheehan has a slight fever and a sore throat... but then you're probably thinking it's her own fault, huh? Since she spent all night in a thunderstorm. But see, any GENEROUS person would be like, oh that poor woman's still out there? Let some of my servants go out there with soup... oh but that'll be encouraging her, wouldn't it? We can't have that.. why showing mercy or tenderness is - y'know - feminine. And you're way too macho to be decent huh?

So I hear through the grapevine (well, Donald Rumsfeld) that the Pentagon and the administration is about to throw a big ol' party... one wild country western shindig, complete with a hike and everything... all to commemorate 9/11. I see you even invited Mr. Clint Black to be the entertainment. Me personally, I prefer his wife, Lisa Hartman Black.

But I do have a question for you. What does this hike and having a good ol' country western hoedown have to do with supporting our freedoms, or troops or commemorating 9/11?

First off, 9/11 happened to New York City. And as any New Yorker could tell you, most wouldn't be caught dead listening to country music. If you had asked Billy Joel, or Phillip Glass, or any Broadway star (hell, even Bernadette Peters would've been a better choice), you might've been able to connect it better to 9/11. But as it is, anyone who've been to New York and seen the faces they make at C/W music, would be able to see this celebration of freedoms for the farce it is.

Secondly, in previous DECLARED wars, the way Americans supported the war effort was by personal sacrifices. So far, the only sacrificing have been done has been by the military and not the ones higher up, but the ones on the ground. Oh yeah, and their families, which brings us back to CINDY SHEEHAN.

Thirdly, could you kindly explain about the correlation of "freedom" and the Patriot Act? Basically, from my reading of the Act, the government is curbing a lot of our freedoms.

Other than that, I think your idea of a country hoedown for the whole country is a fantabulous idea. After all, who cares if 5 American soldiers just died yesterday as long as we can get a BBQ and good ol' country western singing, right?

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Happy 8th Day of Vacation, George!

How's the weather down in Texas? Cindy Sheehan says that you might be having thunderstorms.

There's no chance of you going mountain-biking in the storm, is there? I mean, since you didn't know to come in out of the rain in Scotland. Oh wait, if something happens to you, we get Dick in Charge, eh? You know, I really can't decide what's worse for the country, you or Dick.

BTW, in case you weren't aware, 17 people died yesterday in a series of bombings in Iraq. You might be getting one more mother outside your doorstep asking the same question Cindy Sheehan wants to ask to your face, since among the 17 was another Marine.

Today, I wanted to educate you on how ordinary people get vacations.

Most of us have to plan and BUDGET months in advance for our vacation. We first have to look at our budget and figure out where we can go under our budget. Thanks to your buddies and you bungling the economy with your friggin tax breaks for the rich and this costly war and the price of oil, Europe is out for most people. See, when pizza in London costs $80, which is what a majority of us make in a day, then Europe isn't really a possibility for us existing on a budget. By the way, Asia is out too since they unpegged their currency to ours.

What's good for corporations (the trade deficit) usually means our choices will get limited. We cannot afford to travel overseas now... ah, but I'm starting to understand your insiduous plan now.

You want to keep us dumb, broke and isolated don't you? You plan on bankrupting the American economy (much like Brazil) with your tax breaks, your wars, and your killing of social security. Then you make sure we stay dumb and entertained. Hence your endorsement of Intelligent Design. (But then, what can we expect from a man who revels in his "C" capabilities and uses his position to demean others more qualified)

But I digress.

Anyway, on with my lesson. First we figure out where we can go on our budget. Then comes the odious task of asking permission to take a vacation. Who did you have to ask? I don't remember getting anything in the mail about you asking permission. What? You think I work for you? Umm, your paycheck was paid in part by me. You know, if there's corporation acknowledgements, like this message was paid in part by.. why doesn't your paycheck say that? It should say, Paid by the CITIZENS of the United States who pay taxes. That way, you will remember who you are working for. Not your cronies at Halliburton or Exxon or the House of Saud.

Okay, so first we figure out a budget, then we ask permission. Barring any emergencies, any budget cuts, unemployment, etc.... we then go and take our one week off. Of course, we all manipulate the system as best we could... Take off on a Friday, drive all night on Thursday night so we get our vacation starting truly on Friday.... make sure to have the vacation over a three day weekend so we can squeeze ONE extra day out of it.

This is the world of working people. This is the world of 75% of where your paycheck comes from. So go back to clearing brush. Go back to pretending you're a farm hand for 5 weeks. But face it - until you face our terrors, you are a pampered baby playing at trying to better your father.

Filed under Politics and B.S.