Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Swiffer Commercial!

We were watching Wild Kingdom on Animal Planet when we both looked up at the Swiffer commercial.

'Alison!' I cried out.

Bratworse looked up and confirmed that it was our friend, Alison Blanchard.

When I can, I'll post a Youtube of the commercial.


Tactics for the Democratic Party

Watching and listening the last couple of days, I'm finding myself agreeing with those who say that "McCain = more of the same" isn't enough. You see, you have to get under McCain's skin. Lose that famous temper of his. What'll set it off quicker is by saying he is *much* worse than Bush. You see, he has nothing but disdain for Bush. And by saying he's worse, it will get under his skin quicker than a tick would.

From everything I'm reading, McCain will be worse, because he is threatening to invoke the draft if there are enough resources with a volunteer army. Do you want your loved one drafted?


McCain, Bush's Sidekick

Best quote of the convention so far:
John McCain calls himself a maverick, but he votes with George Bush more than 90% of the time...that's not a maverick, that's a sidekick.

Thanks, Senator Casey.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Doomed for Divorce

So, this past week, I went to see my mother. While there, after she had told me what I was doing wrong with my life one too many times, we had one of our fights.

The fights go like this.

Me: Hear me Mom, this is what I need.
Mom: Why should I hear you? You just hear what you want to hear anyway.
Me: Well, that's cause when it's all you hear, how can I hear any different?
Mom: You, you, you. You only talk about you.
Me: I only start talking about me when I feel like you're not hearing me.
Mom: Well that's all you talk about. That's what's wrong with you.
Me: Argh. Stop telling me what's wrong with me. I only talk about me when you can't hear me.

And on and on it goes, until my mother goes too far and draws blood. Only then, will she back off and start hearing.

What did she say this time that went too far?

She told me I should never marry, that if I marry anyone, it's doomed for divorce anyway, so why bother going through the motions?

Don't I just have a warm cuddly mother?


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Can you see it?

Bratworse was in Florida, visiting her grandparents' property and taking a nice stroll around the premises. Along the walk, she spotted this next to her sister.

What? You can't see it? Here, let us highlight it for you.

There, is that any better?


Okay, we'll go closer up. Any better?

Still no, eh?

Okay how's this? We've pulled closer up.

Yes! There it is.

Yes, that was a hidden snake next to her sister, and Bratworse managed to spot it from about fifteen feet away. She called it a "pygmy rattlesnake."

Okay, if you still can't see it, click on the picture. Click on any of the photos and you'll get a bigger photo.

Here, let me show you again how far away it was.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Stress Points

I'm visiting my family tonight for my sister's 50th birthday and well, I am totally stressed out over it. Bratworse came home last night (Yay!) but she's really pissed at me for some reason and I've no idea why. Plus on top of that, my asthma's been acting up again and that's been stressing me out a lot. I can feel bags under my eyes, I want nothing better than to crawl under my desk and curl up next to the heater and sleep. Work isn't that stressful but walking in today, I was met with immediate incompetence on the part of a carrier (any surprise?) which meant I had some explaining to do, with a client.

I'm so tired of having to be clenched all the time. I'm clenched most of the time now due to the asthma and not being able to breathe and clenched most of the night because I wake up with my lungs filled. When that happens, I want to stay in bed until the hacking is over but I think I'm going to have to brave the cold with a blanket so Bratworse can sleep in. It's just not fair that two have to suffer due to one. When I was a kid, I couldn't stop my mother from suffering along with me, but now that I'm an adult, I should be able to stop Bratworse.

Gods, watch. I'm going to go visit my mother, and she's going to be all nice and worried and then BAM! Suddenly out of the blue, she's going to get pissed for no reason and everyone will have to walk on eggshells around her for a while. I hate this.


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Gay! He Bonked Me.

Last week, I spent a very very nice time with my young two year old friend, the Future Snowboarder. When I walked into her house, the first thing her mother told me was she was potty-trained! Followed by instructions to take the FS to the potty, of course. Well, after we visited the bathroom, the FS asked if we could play in the bedroom instead of going out to the living room. So off we went to her bedroom.

In there, I asked her if she went to Mortician's house for dinner the previous night and she nodded. She then proceeded to tell me all about the previous night, culminating with "Gay! He bonked me!"

Now, mind you, I was sitting there trying to understand her speech (two-year old speech can be a little hard on the ears) and when I heard the word "Gay" I just blinked, trying to figure out exactly what she meant by that.

She gave me this look like, Why don't you know what I'm talking about? My mind screamed out, Mortician's son! What's his name? so I took a stab, "Is Gay a boy or girl?"

Well, this question was met with a look that conveyed You have got to be shitting me quite clearly. "Boy! Finley girl."

The dawn was a long time coming in my brain, but the light finally came shining over the horizon. "Oh! Gray! He bonked you?"

The look of pure joy at being understood fell over her face as she nodded, saying, "Yesh! I cried. Mama came, hold me." At this point, her mom showed up in the doorway, grinning showing that she overheard most of this conversation.

"Did Gray say he was sorry?"

'Yesh. Gay say sorry."


Later, she was sitting on my lap after dinner, playing with various jewelry I was wearing, when she looked at me and asked, "Married?"

Both her mom and I nodded at her, saying "Remember? You were at the wedding." We pointed at Bratworse.

She just smiled and settled herself into my arms. Is there any wonder part of my heart belongs to this little girl?


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Note Fairy Came! The Note Fairy Came!!!!

When I was a wee li'l girl, my amah sat me on her knee and told me all about the Note Fairy. Ah Lan Tseh said, "Chue Mui, if you're very very lucky in this life, you will get visited by the Note Fairy. The Fairy only comes if you are missing a person in your life that loves you more than life and that person has left for parts unknown to you, in a strange and distant land. This person will offer the Note Fairy food, money, bribes and if the Note Fairy is in a good mood, the Note Fairy will then offer that person chances to take notes on their behalf."

Well, last night, after I had worked half a day without hearing from Bratworse, I reached into the refridgerator and lo and behold, the Note Fairy had brought me a note from her. The note read, "Happy Drinks for my love."

Later that night, when I was suffering with pains in my tummy (I have IBS. Do not get IBS unless you are prepared to spend about 1/20th of your life sitting on the toilet), I reached for the book I was reading and a note fluttered out. Again, words of love and missing me sought my eyes.

This morning, I reached for my underwear and another note graced my fingers!

Thank you Note Fairy! Thank you for bringing words from my wife to me.


Left on My Own

The Bratworse has left for home territories.

What havoc should I wreak? Should I eat ice cream for dinner every night? Should I turn on all the lights in the house? Should I buy expensive treats for the cats?

Maybe I should .... Gah!

This is only fun when I'm really not allowed to do anything. But Bratworse basically lets me do most things I want (except turn on all the lights in the house, which shhhhh, they're on).

Anyway, a week without her. How long d'ya think I'll last before I get arrested?


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

How Many Of You Wants To Sue Apple & AT&T Over the iPhone 3G?

So, here's our situation:

We get AT&T for our wireless about 5 years ago. About 2 years ago in December '06, Bratworse and Sugarmesweeeet get new razors and new contracts. Then about a year ago in March, we make all the phones CA phones instead of NC phones. No new contracts or phones. Got that?

Three lines, two got new phones in 12/06. One of the lines with the new phone gets dropped off the family plan.

We get told on Thursday May 10th, that all we have to do buy out the contract for Bratworse's phone for $90 and she'd qualify for the $199 price for the iPhone 3G. My phone has never been upgraded. Mine qualifies.

We go to get iPhones on Sunday. Lo and behold, we have to pay $399 for EACH PHONE!

Since then, I've spent about 6 hours of my life with AT&T fighting. So far, almost every time I walk away from the phone with one or two managers telling me at least ONE phone qualified for the subsidized price. Strange, the ONE time a supervisor didn't say that was when they knew I was recording the call.

Every time I've talked to AT&T, I mentioned it was our wedding gift to each other.

So far, almost a month later, we've gotten no refunds, nothing. No responses.

Anyone else out there who has complaints about the switch and bait AT&T has been doing? (I can't blame Apple for this, they are using AT&T's records).

I'm so sick of these assholes listening in on our conversations, making notes and not telling us what the notes are and NOT GIVING OUR MONEY BACK!

Let's get a class action suit going.


Friday, August 01, 2008

Relaxin' at Home

Here's Bratworse relaxing after finishing her last class of the last term of the last semester.

Yes, that means she's done with school and about to hit the workforce. Watch out world!

The stern look? Don't be fooled. She's just trying to ignore the pest with the iPhone.

[taken with the iPhone]


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