Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Must Keep Repeating...

My nephew is a grown man. My sister is a grown woman. They are responsible for their lives. They can blame me for all their woes, but I don't have to feel responsible.

Apparently, my nephew is living on the street. My family's reaction? Oh, the horror, the shame. My reaction? Good. It's about time he learned the value of the dollar and that he can't keep lying and thieving his way through life.

Yes, I believe my nephew is a thief and a liar. Until his dependence on crystal meth is nil, he will continue to be, in my eyes, a thief and a liar.

I have not known ANYONE who had a dependency on crystal meth, to be NOT a thief or a liar. If your car gets broken into three times in a neighborhood, when you go there, do you lock the doors? Same analogy.

My sister is apparently thinking of taking my nephew back into her house. Every fibre of my being is screaming, No! Don't do it! But, I have to keep repeating to myself, they are adults. If my sister wants to risk her marriage for her son, so be it. If my nephew is bound and determined to ruin my sister's marriage, so be it.

My sister doesn't realize that since the 6th grade, my nephew has had one goal, and one goal only. To hurt my sister as much as his feelings got hurt when all of a sudden, her world revolved around someone other than him.

What my nephew doesn't realize is, that he has hurt his mother many more times and in many different ways than he has ever gotten hurt. He got hurt badly but he is the one who keeps picking at the scab and making it bleed over and over again.

What he's done to my sister is, create a thousand cuts, then pour lemon juice over it.

I don't like my nephew. I do like my sister. I want to bang my nephew's head against the wall and say, you asshole! over and over again until he realizes what he's doing to the family, to himself.

I want to turn my sister's head and say, just apologize to the kid for not realizing he was that co-dependent.

I want to say to my nephew, it wouldn't have mattered if it had been my brother-in-law or anyone else, ANYTHING would've been too much for him, since he was such a selfish kid.

The only thing I fear, is the fallout for the two young'uns. I've been plagued by nightmares the last two nights cause of them. They are the innocents caught up in a game of payback. My nephew, tho he'd like to think of himself as an innocent, isn't innocent, nor a child anymore. I wish he'd figure that one out.



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