Doodad to Me One More Time

Doodad to Me One More Time, originally uploaded by cholotto.

Here's what I bought Bratworse at the faire. It works with unlocked hair too. The problem with dreads is, finding a lock that was thin enough for her. This lock is on the right side of her head, towards the middle of her skull. The only other locks that'll fit were in front, but I couldn't fathom the doodad hitting her in the face every time she whirled around. I'd be so busy getting her to whirl around I'd never get anything done!

Science and God

Most of us are familiar with the above drawing. In our small minds, that is pretty much what our solar system looks like.

And guess what, we'd be wrong. I've been reading Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" and the first chapter has already blown my mind away. Basically, if we make Earth the size of a pea, Jupiter in relation, would be OVER THREE THOUSAND FEET AWAY.

Nothing in the above diagram even remotely comes close to the scale and breadth of the true universe. Given that same pea-sized Earth, Pluto would have to be drawn OFF THE PLANET'S SURFACE in order to accurately depict the size of the solar system.

And this is just ONE solar system out of millions of billions.

So your mind blown away yet? Okay, wait a few seconds for your mind to collect itself. Now doesn't the sheer immensity of the scale we're dealing with, just re-affirm in you that there is intelligence and there is design?

"Intelligent Design" is neither. It's not intelligent nor does it show a design in anything. It is JUST A WAY FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE SURE YOUR BRAIN REMAINS SMALL. It has nothing to do with the reality of science, the complex beauty of the world we live in, nor does it have anything to do with faith. For people of science who have faith in a higher being, each fact uncovered that discloses the immense complexity of our surroundings, underscores their faith.

So let me ask you (if you're a supporter of Intelligent Design): Why do you insist of making our world smaller? Why do you limit what we know? Why are you insisting that the world is ONLY 6,000 years old?

Intelligent Design gives you pee-wee football's playbook to understanding football, INSTEAD of the NFL's playbook. So go ahead America, be in the junior league. Cause when time comes to play in the big leagues, it'll be China and India sending in their teams, not us.

Happy 7th Day of Vacation, George

I know, you missed me updating you over the weekend, but George, you see, being ordinary folk instead of royalty, makes the weekends ever so much more precious to me since I can't get 5 weeks off for vacation like you can. Well, I could, but you see, ordinary folks like me, when we take 5 weeks off, it's usually cause we lost our jobs.

During this time, our 5 weeks off isn't restful at all. We fret about where our money is coming from, we worry about the roof over our heads being taken away; trust me, it's not fun. But you never had to worry about that at all, didn't you. Every time you ran a company to the ground, you always had one of Daddy's pals help you out, huh?

Anyway, here's the scuttlebutt over the weekend. Outside your ranch, there's a woman named Cindy Sheehan. You might remember her. You met her because she lost her son Casey in Iraq. But then, you might not remember her; after all, you didn't remember the name of her son when you did meet with her. What's she doing out there? Well, George, she would like you to answer right to her face why her son died. You can do that, can't you? You can take a moment out from brush clearing to go answer her questions... oh wait, I forgot. 10,000 brown lives won't budge you, 20+ Ohioan's lives won't budge you, why would 1 Californian life? Oh ignore the cameras, you always did anyway.

Added at 1:49 pm - Hey, George? Cindy Sheehan says that one of your lackeys, erm, political associates called her to say that if she's not gone from the front of your ranch by Thursday, she would be arrested for *get this* being a threat to national security. Can you believe the nerve of these imposters?

Of course, we know that you, big guy, won't ever let someone like Cindy Sheehan get arrested just for this little thing that's protected in our constitution, this thing called "Freedom of Speech?" I mean, it's not like you would let anyone get kicked out of events you hold.

But see, here's the thing. All you have to do is walk outside with your truckloads of secret servicemen, and talk to this woman. Tell her why we're in Iraq. Tell her there is really a good reason why her son died. Oh, I don't suggest that you throw her the cock'n'bull story about spreading democracy. I think she's a tad too well-read (yes, she read more than "My Pet Goat") to swallow that bile. Be sincere. And she'll leave your doorstep. No need to spend MILLIONS OF DOLLARS CALLING IN TROOPS TO HAUL THIS BEREAVED MOTHER AWAY.

But, you know, George, there IS this part of me that does hope that you're that assinine, that you're that insulated, that you will pull this boneheaded move. See, we'd love to show the world what we've been seeing in you.

Filed under Politics & B.S.

Happy 4th Day of Vacation, George

I see you had a visitor, the Columbian President, Alvaro Uribe. And you made a hah-hah! Calling Condoleeza Rice, Condoleeza "Arroz". Boy, that was a knee-slapper. How did you come up with that by your lonesome?

By the way, even the New York Post thinks you should take a little time from your hard work of hosting foreign dignitaries to go visit some of the poor families in Ohio who lost loved ones this past week. But I know, those brushes are just everywhere on your ranch and you need to clear them. After all, you didn't break from your last vacation because over 10,000 brown-skinned people died. Why should you for only 14 Americans? I mean, that's like saying to the world 14 Americans is worth more than over 10,000 dead indonesians, malaysians, Thai, Sri Lankans, Indians, etc.

Anyway, the weekend is coming up, and I'm going to take some time from my hard work, which I know, isn't as hard as driving around the Columbian president on a ranch. Oh, when you get back from your vacation, can you see to it that our troops have more protection? That they get a raise just like the others in your white house that you just gave raises to last month? Oh, the budget? That's easy, take a couple million away from Halliburton and assign that monies to troops salary. See? Not really hard work. Oh, but too easy for you, eh?

What was I thinking?

Filed under Politics and B.S.

Happy 3rd Day of Vacation, George

Did you get a good night's rest? Sleep well? That's good. You should rest easy after all that hard work. After all, 14 patriotic Americans got good rest. In fact, eternal rest. You should sleep well knowing that you helped kept these 14 from ever experiencing insomnia again.

And all this while you're on vacation! You were right, being president IS hard work.

Filed under Politics and B.S.

The Price of Love

I grew up thinking no one could love me. I grew up thinking that I would always be on my own and that I would have no one to answer to.

So I lived my life with that attitude. I basically removed most luxury from my life, lived on less than modest means and went without simply because I didn't want to be trapped by a job I hated, and simply because I never thought I would have to share the burden of who I am with anyone else.

I was a freebird, a free thinker! I would work just to have enough to live on, enough to build up debt and then when the debt came calling, hauling ass to make sure there was a roof over my head.

I had the luxury: I have skills people pay for, I have intelligence, I am employable.

But two years ago, a girl-woman came into my life, declared she loved me and moved in. And now, this woman, this beautiful lovely fascinating wondrous woman is paying for her choice of partners.

My Bratworse moved 3,000 miles away from her family to be with me. She let go of her college studies, her furniture, her support just so she can live a life with me. And now, though she's been accepted by the Academy of Art, she can't afford to go.

See, in my attitude towards life prior to Bratworse, I basically said Fuck You to the establishment and my credit sucks as a result. So I can't really co-sign for a loan for her. Her grandparents are in the middle of re-doing their place, as well as some other stuff and therefore cannot co-sign for her. Her dad won't co-sign but I'm unclear as to the reasons. And her mom can't.

So this bright young woman, who sees patterns in blank pages, who wants to learn how to translate those patterns she sees in her head onto pages so others can share in her visions, this wondrous woman who so desperately wants to learn, to have a piece of paper that tells the world she learned through formal training - cannot.

We're still working on a solution so that her dreams can come true.

In the meantime, I'm kicking myself. I never thought I'd be this blessed. That for me, what is a blessing, is a curse to this woman who chose to love me.

I am so sorry, Bratworse. I am making you this promise right now. You WILL get a college education. Somehow, somewhere, we ARE going to make your dream come true. Cause you made mine come true. I love you.

One Out of Twenty

One Out of Twenty, originally uploaded by cholotto.

*sigh*

I only approve one out of twenty photos now. I remember time when I approved 19 out of 20. The older I get, the more like my father's side of the family I resemble. I'm also developing a body shape akin to my father's as well... small everywhere except my thighs and my tummy.

Times-a-changin' and my body reflects that lol

One day, maybe you can bribe Bratworse to post pictures of me I don't approve. Hmm, I better go erase those off her computer now.

Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations, originally uploaded by cholotto.

So a couple of weekends ago, I went fishing with Bratworse and one of my best friends. There was a small puddle in the boat and when I revved up the engine and took off, all the water in the boat rushed to where I was, the back. I looked down and saw this phenomenon recur over and over - the vibrations of the engine with the boat, made waves in the water and they formed this geodesic shape. It was so cool to watch. The shape would come together in sharpened clarity, and then fade out to nothingness, then come together again.

I'm sure a mathemagician could figure out exactly what made these shapes. For me, it was just fascinating to watch nature and math come together in this rhythmic dance that birthed visual candy.

Happy 2nd Day of Vacation, George

How was the trip out to Texas? Were all the brush there right where you left it?

BTW, just in case you didn't notice, you should invite Farm-Girl Schmidt out to the ranch to congratulate her on her narrow win. You two have a lot in common. Both of you squeaked out victories in your election, both of you are under the impression you grew up on ranches/farms, both of you lie through your teeth. See? Great dinner conversations.

I haven't had time to peruse the news to update you on what's happening in the world while you work on clearing brush and falling off your bike, since I actually have to work for a living, but when I do get a free moment from making a measly living, I'll put something up. In the meantime, make sure you do take time off, okay? We all know it's hard work NOT to provide armor for our troops, it's hard work to jab a thumb into the Senate's eyes, and it's hard work to advocate Creationism.

Filed under Politics and B.S.

Happy 1st Day of Vacation, George

So I see from my favorite WaPo writer that you start your vacation today.

I just wanted to wish you a happy first day! After all that hard work of bypassing the Senate to install your own bully boy into the U.N., after making sure you kissed the right ass (as in your new master in Saudi Arabia), after making sure you told the world that you want your minions as ignorant as you (Intelligent Design? Tell me, how can there be such a thing when YOU were created. You are so far from intelligent, there are amoebas with more brain function), you needed to clear away some brush on your ranch, huh?

It's not like there's a war going on, people dying, bombs going off.

So, kick off your boots, wallow in horseshit (oh wait, i'm sorry, that's your other residence) and pay no attention to the men behind the curtain. Oh, why should you? They're keeping the country running so you can have your month-long vacation.

(P.S. In my search for an appropriate picture for the ass-kissing I googled images. Though I found plenty featuring the-then Crown Prince and Bush holding hands, not ONE picture of the kiss. Can you find any? Or is the Patriot Act at work here?)

Prove It to Me

I posted a comment earlier to this post in the Washington Note. I am so tired of stupid-ass generalization that says nothing. The author of this post claims that the U.S. is the most powerful in the world. My comment to him was, in what way is the U.S. the most powerful? Financially? Hah! Chinese banks own our notes. Militarily? Hah! With volunteer shortfalls, unarmored humvees, we sure are looking like we're lean and mean and a fighting machine.

I had a co-worker, one whose politics I agree with, tell me America is the greatest country in the world. I asked, have you lived in another country? He said no. I asked, have you been off the continent? He said no.

When you start believing general over-reaching statements like the U.S. is the most powerful, or the best... that's setting yourself up for fear. If you have faith in that statement, any statement that contradicts or challenges will shake your faith and that's when fear seaps in.

Liar Liar

So, now they've resorted to lying. I tell you, all these efforts just to get me to add them to my contact list.... my head is getting so swollen.

Today's efforts:

This is Gloria from your work. Add me to your contact list.

My response?

LIAR! I don't talk with liars! I work with all guys, so if you're Gloria from my work, you're a liar. LIAR! Ever consider working for the White House?

Filed under Ms. Cell Annie.

July 28, 2005 - Mnemosyne

Happy Birthday Mnemosyne (pronounced nemosign, I think)!

I think the best gift I ever gave you was the previous year's. One day I'll get better at this whole birthday gift thing. For now I'm resorting to just commenting and sharing my thoughts and ideas, almost like a eulogy, though on a birthday (I have to redo Guitarist's if this is to be the trend, though I really think it's just to remind me of everyone's birthday for the years to come... hehe... I'll never admit it).

There is so much I can think to say, but the beginnings of which has not shown its face.

I tremble and quake with the earth of your brain
Walking on eggshells when there is no rain
I am intrigued by your feats and adventures, if not just for your wisdom
But the memories that are filled to the brim
The irony of wanting to know, without ever really knowing at all
Leaves me staring at a list of memories written in brail on a wall
Before it gets so cold, that that the rain turns to snow
There's just a couple things, that I'd like to know

It just all slips away so slowly, you never really know when you lost a lot
Just like one of the zombies in Vegas pouring quarters into a slot
I am amazed and crazed by your history
Like a fortune cookie's mystery

And I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
I think I'm done gunnin' to get closer
to some imagined bliss

I swear some stuff you just see better from further away
And I think I communicate best now, the less I say
There's so much you gave me without ever knowing you gave it up
Measured out so carefully and filtered through the measuring cup

Left to our own defenses parading about the city of our brain
We found comfort in the same
And embraced it, despite the shame
Abandoned we stuck to our decisions through a piece of time
And are left happy, alone in our own little world with our own little rhyme.

Job Searching

I had two job interviews yesterday one with a couple in real estate, and one with a website. Twenty days after my, "thanks for all the fish" I am now employed once again.

Interviews are interesting now a days. In the past I've had everything said to me from "if you're expecting overtime pay leave now" to "Are you planning on getting pregnant?" which are of course not allowed to be asked in an interview.

It is times like this when I really sit back and think about all the people (Mary Harris "Mother" Jones", Lucy Parsons, Joe Hill) involved in the labor movement (war is probably the most apt description, cause really they were fighting a war). And I must give utmost thanks to Utah Phillips and Ani DiFranco for the awareness they are actively spreading.

The struggle that took place for us to have regulated hours, wages and conditions was a war. People were getting arrested for talking (street speaking/soap boxin') and labor unions were declared illegal. It's amazing people weren't arrested for striking (Bread and Roses Strike) and forced to work, the corporations went so far with other things (The Everett Massacre were the Sheriff deputized every drunken guy in town, when the wobblies returned to Seattle they were arrested and placed in a new jail in which together they created enough noise that they broke the jail).

Without the I.W.W., organizers, activist and agitators we'd still be slaves to the bosses. Don't just stand-by and let them violate the rights worker's have today, that people died us to claim our own.

New One

So, I guess all these weeks of refusals have driven my admirers on ICQ to devise new tactics. Here's today's efforts:

Warning! Your icq was hacked by SpyWare! Get Spyware Remover as quick as possible! Add me to your contact list for removal instructions.

Should I be flattered that they're going to this extent? I think I shall take the compliment. After all, who else would lie just to get my attention? Oh, wait... hmm.

BTW, here's my response:

Ack! Spyware! Tell me it ain't so, Joe! Hey! Maybe you're the spy. Maybe you're the ware. Add you, the spy? HAH! What do you think I am? STooPiD? DOUBLE HAH!

Lesson to Andy Card

Just pretend for a sec that the WH is a mafia type organization. I think today's little revelation about who received the call, as well as last week's Novak little tidbit about how Andy Card may be replaced soon are just little shows of power to anyone thinking about ousting Rove.

Andy Card is supposed to be Karl Rove's boss. It's possible and probable that Card has suggested recently that perhaps Mr. Rove shouldn't be in the WH.

What would Sonny do if someone had suggested to him that he needed to leave the Family?

Gonzales could've said anyone. Right now, anytime anyone of these yahoos say anything, my litmus test is asking who benefits from this chess move, keeping in mind that Bush is a short-timer, but the others still can have long careers in politics.

A Month Long Vacation????

Okay. One thing needs to be understood and understood now. Bush works for ME! Bush works for YOU!

WE pay his salary. And when did WE authorize a month long vacation for our COMMANDER IN CHIEF during WARTIME?

This is absolutely outrageous. Our men and women are dying; Iraqis are dying; Brits are dying. And President Bush is taking a month-long vacation at his ranch?

Bush originally had planned to announce a replacement for retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor on July 26 or 27, just before his planned July 28 departure for a month-long vacation at his Crawford, Texas, ranch, said two administration officials, who spoke on the condition they not be named.

Why the hell isn't he going to be at work trying to figure out how to get our soldiers more armor? Why the hell isn't he going to be at work fixing our budget? Why the hell won't he be at work trying to get our men home since the mission is accomplished, the elections held and democracy as he says is on the march?

Think about it. When was the last time YOU got a month long vacation when the company you worked for was in crisis mode, which is what WARTIME is?

Invention Needed!

I am SICK AND TIRED of answering the phone to hear the bleet of a fax machine. So, you inventors out there, or you engineers who work on designing fax machines.

Why can't you put in a standard: MAKE IT SO THAT YOU HIT THE # SYMBOL OR SOMETHING AND THE FAX WILL UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S A WRONG NUMBER AND WILL NOT CALL BACK!!!!

How simple is this concept? You make it so that the fax machine will call back automatically for 5 times. SO MAKE IT EASY FOR PEOPLE ON THE RECEIVING END TO STOP THE 5 TIMES!

ARGH!

Can you tell that I've received numerous phone calls like that? I just screamed at the phone and my co-worker is looking at me worriedly.

More Requests and Refusals

So there I am, minding my own business when an alert goes off on my computer screen. Yet another person wants me to "Add me to your contact list"

So I replied, "NOOOO! oh god, nO!!!!! no, don't make me add you! OH GOD! NOooooooooooooooooooooo! oh. hmm. Guess I watched too many horror flicks this weekend. Just a No will suffice."

I have too much fun with these things.

Left Behind

One of the suspected bombers in the London bombings, is a 30 year old man with a wife and a baby. Another is a 19 year old whose uncle collapsed upon hearing that his nephew may not have been one of the victims but rather the bomber. This uncle screamed out "We have lost everything we have."

My blood curdled when I read that the bombers are suspected to be LONDON-BORN. And then when I snapped back to reality and remembered those people had family, family who called up the police to report them missing... family who are so scared out of their minds right now, because they are entering such unfamiliar territory.. all I could do was become FURIOUS at these suicide bombers.

Not only did you kill anonymous (to you) people, not only did you maim them, you are hurting and condemning the people who cared for and loved you.

So I am addressing this to all potential suicide bombers in cities worldwide.

1) If the government the bomb goes off in is as bad as you say they are, then how can you leave your family in their hands? You are selfish AND cowardly.

2) If the government the bomb goes off in is NOT as bad as you say they are, and your family somehow manages to survive the stigma of being families to suicide bombers, then you are a FOOL! For you DIED to protest something that protects the families of suicide bombers. See if your leaders would do the same.

As for the guilt of the family members, I have little doubt that they are NOT involved. I mean, how stupid can they be to stay in the bombed country if they've anything to do with it. I mean that's like saying someone chose to be gay!

Oh yeah, I forgot, there are some of you who hate your own lives so much that you can believe others chose a life of being in the minority cause life as a minority is just oh so wonderful.