Friday, May 19, 2006

Gay Men and Misogyny


I love gay men. Ask any of my friends, they'd tell you I'm a fag hag in drag.

But a lot of gay men are misogynists. They don't think they are, but there's a hatred there that stems from being lumped in with girls - as in being called sissy boys.

I've had to deal with them constantly because frankly, I have sensibilities more like a gay man's than a typical dyke. I love Opera, musicals, Judy, Babs, Patsy, etc. and therefore enjoy conversations with gay men more.

But there are times when during a conversation, I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

John Aravosis' post about Pat Roberts - comparing him with Patrick Henry, is a good post. Except he likened Pat Roberts to "a big girl." Which was a put down.

Then his response to his readers who said, waitaminit John, don't do like they (the Repubs who call men they consider weak as girly men) do, his response was to pooh pooh them all.

This was the final straw. I used to recommend Americablog to everyone I knew, but no more.

What makes me a liberal is, when I see my actions as being similar to others I condemn, I apologize and try not to repeat my mistake. This is how we learn tolerance.

How can John Aravosis dig in his feet like this? He says we're ignoring the big issue, that Roberts and what he said was the issue. No, John. We are not ignoring the big issue. We're agreeing with you on that. We're just not agreeing with you on your choice of words.

You say that it's part of the gay vernacular and get over yourself. I can just picture John Aravosis snapping his fingers thrice, each time higher above his head. I know this action well. This is a gay man's reaction to being caught wrong, and refusing to admit the mistake. "Get over yourself, Maryjane."

Well, John. You lost yourself a reader today. Not because of your poor word choice. It's okay to make mistakes. You lost a reader because you told me to get over myself and on this, I can't. All my life, I've fought the image of girls = weak. All my life I was told, but you're one of the guys, Resigned Idealist. No, I am NOT one of the guys. I am a girl. I am a woman. And I will not stand for the equation women/girls = weak anymore. Use another goddamn metaphor.


 
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1 Response to "Gay Men and Misogyny"
  1. Caityr said...
    12:06 AM

    Being one of these "Sissy Boys" let me offer a personal point of view on this subject.

    Women are by no means weak, or less than men in any way. Just because a person, Male or Female, is feminine does -NOT- constitute a weakness of any kind.

    For example: I crossdress regularly, I weigh about 107 pounds, and am 5 feet 11 inches tall. I have more natural grace and poise that half the women I know, and act a great deal more feminine at times than I can explain in words.

    The woman I call my soulmate adores this, and spends a great deal of time picking out clothing, make up, and other things for me. I'm bisexual with a very strong male preferance as well.

    However, I was a Military Police officer in the US Army for over two years (Medical discharge due to injury) I run, jump, swim, climb and do all the other stuff "Manly men" do, most of the time a whole hell of alot better than they do. I can bounce a dime in the air with a Bretta M9 9mm semi-automatic handgun, and hit a target at 2 miles plus with an M82A2 .50 cal rifle every time.

    I respect most women for thier strength. They have an ability to withstand emotional, physical, and psychologoical pain that would make even a strong man fold up.

    Feminine/Female Does NOT equal Weak.

    If you would like to disput this point, I know about three doesen feminine men and women that would love to demonstrate thier strength to you in ways you'll always remember.

    resigned, you go girl!

 

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