Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Go Ahead...


blame me. Yup. My fault.

Feel better now?

Good. Now go to sleep and keep blaming me. Makes you sleep better, eh? Just keep ignoring the real cause.

Think of this as my gift to you all. Common ground for you and your son to start anew. After all, things grow better in manure, right? You both can blame me.

Call your son. Tell him how his aunt failed him with such an example. Ignore the fact that he's babbling incoherently. Ignore the fact that NO ONE IS STOPPING HIM from his actions. No one CAN stop him. Ignore the fact that he wants you to accept him on his terms no matter how unreasonable it is.

No wonder I'm so fucking pissed off at America. It's a goddamn reflection of my own damn life. Exchange me with liberalism, and my nephew with GWB; you get the idea. Difference is? I can tell my nephew exactly what I think of his selfishness.

You equate me with your son. Be my guest. That sort of action will just confirm to me that you see me a certain way.

I told you I would call you to let you know if your asshole of a son calls. I did my part. That does not include having to hear you blame me. I already know. If you need to tell someone I'm to blame, tell it to a therapist. Not me. I do not have to hear it. I just have to let you know if I know your son is alive.

I am setting friggin boundaries now. I have a lover who lives with me. I have to be considerate of her as well as you. When it was just me, I let you blame me and let you yell at me. Maybe I blame myself as well. You will never know will you? Cause you will never ask. I am willing to live with you as you are. But know this. My life has changed. Your relationship with me must change as well. If it doesn't, I do not have to put up with it.

Boundaries. It feels good.

And for the record, nephew. Love doesn't mean I have to put up with something I don't like. You say it's perception. Well dude, you're trying to force me into your perspective. And that's dissing me. That's what I went to therapy for. To understand that I really did love my mother and respected her. And that's why I'm willing to put myself under a lampshade for her. Cause she's scared. So why would I scare her more? Only a bully would want to. That's what I think of you. By you forcing us to FACE your addiction, you're a bully.

I accept your addiction. I don't have to like it and I don't. I don't want it in my life cause I don't trust it. Which translates to I don't trust YOU. I accept that you are addicted and I accept that you will not be a part of my life for the present time.

This is where you made your mistake. You think that I am urging you to stop. I am not. I am only saying there is a line. YOU choose your actions. On this side of the line is me. On that side is crystal meth. I am no where even NEAR pleading you to stop. In fact, if you stay on that side of the line, my life will be simplified.

So dear nephew. Please hear me now. I accept your decision. Your decision has consequences. The consequence is I do not want your presence in my life. See? Simple.

No where did I say, nephew, I want you to stop using. My wants and desires have no impact so why bother wasting the saliva? You will not quit unless you want to. I as someone who smokes no more, understand that very well.

Therefore, so long and thanks for all the fish, nephew.

 
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