Friday, August 12, 2005

*Warning* Gross but Necessary Post Following



Bratworse's post below reminded me I wanted to blog about this.

Two years ago, I went to bury my father in China. While there I got my period. So off I trudged and bought Stayfree pads from the supermarket next door. When I put them on, I was pleasantly surprised. The cover of the pad was soft, cottony and comfortable!

I came home to the U.S. and only bought Stayfree pads from then on.

Two months ago, someone at Stayfree decided gee, let's save some money and switch to this QWIK-DRY Top Layer. I'm sure someone there must've thought, hey, it'll keep them dry, they'll be grateful for that.

NO WE ARE NOT!

I want ALL the executives, all the marketing people, all the research people, to pour a bit of chocolate syrup and maybe some chopped up marshmallow bits onto a pad, and then wear that for 4 hours. THAT basically is the constituency of what we sit on.

And don't think of a period as peeing into a diaper or something. IT IS WET AND STICKY AND GROSS FROM THE SECOND THE PAD TOUCHES THE VAGINA. And we have to sit on that.

This damn piece of plastic is so uncomfortable we are switching. We went to Always, which now has a cottony type cover. Still not as good as what I got in Hong Kong but it'll do.

But resignedidealist, you ask, why don't you use tampons instead?

I have no problems with tampons IF there weren't lumps involved. There is NOTHING I hate more than standing at the grocery store, or standing up from my desk, and feeling that lump of tissue that just freed itself from my uterus try and ooze past the tampon. If it oozes past the tampon, chances are the panty-liner cannot handle a dump like that.

Also, WHY DO WE WEAR PANTY-LINERS WITH TAMPONS?

It's the redundancy of that act that makes me think guys created tampons.

You can bet your ass if guys had lumps of tissue monthly disgorging themselves from a wall within them, they'd have figured out a way to secure the lumps and the blood, and still NOT have to sit on plastic.

Bratworse hates it when I talk about my period much less blog about it, but damnit, someone's got to bitch about this shit. I'll try not to be as graphic or ... hmm... [starts to get an idea of mixing up chocolate syrup with marshmallow bits and taking a photo of it to post]

Yes, I'm pms'ing and dreading having to finish up the Stayfree pads.

 
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2 Responses to "*Warning* Gross but Necessary Post Following"
  1. Marky said...
    10:50 AM

    Yes, but if guys figurred out a way to secure the lumps and the blood, it would involve duct tape. Are you really interested in that solution?

  2. resigned idealist said...
    4:46 PM

    EWWWW! And I thought I was being gross. Duct tape near pubes. You sicko!

 

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